It has been a while since I made an entry, life has been busy but that is a poor excuse. I just did not make time in my life. It is time for an awakening! There are many types of awakening but tonight I am focused on just 1, how do I view myself and those around me.
I am starting to feel God’s presence in my life more and more, each day, each week, and each month. Like most people when I am in a crowd I see just a bunch of bodies, pushing and shoving trying to make room for themselves, I was doing the same thing, give me some personal space geez! But that is not what God expects of us I don’t think. He wants us to pay attention to each other, reach out and help each other, show some respect for each other. Respect for each other, there is a loaded one, for me anyway. Like I said earlier, when I am in a crowd most of the time I just see a mass of bodies nothing else. I cannot explain it but more and more I am drawn to see what I am calling for lack of a better term, “The Person Factor”, what is that? Let me give you an example.
Back in August I signed up to work at the State Fair in the Dairy Barn where the Dairy Association sells ice cream cones. Now I have never worked on a dairy farm but our Cursillo group gets a pretty substantial amount of money to work there for the dairy association, thus I volunteered. That day, I was not really interested in being there, and boy was it crowded. I was assigned the task of working in this little cube running the cash register. All I could see was a mass of people coming in and out and then it happened. Again I felt God reaching out to give me a chance to grow as a Christian, it was humbling and at the same time I would not trade the experience for ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY.
First I found myself seeing people instead of a crowd, young parents looking at the menu trying to figure out what their kids would want and not make a mess, retired folks reliving their youth through cold soft serve ice cream cone, Couples out for a day at the fair enjoying each other’s company. I felt my heart touched by a spark of grace. This was not a crazy mass of bodies, these individuals each had a story, a part of life here on earth. I found myself welcoming them with a smile and they would return a smile back as if we had been friends. I found a box with small stickers that said I love milk, I started to give them to the smaller children, you would think I had just awarded them a gold medal they were so happy and proud. God was refilling my heart with his love that I so badly needed.
Then it happened, I saw Christ’s love standing before me in the embodiment of a 60 something year old woman. She had 6 men of somewhat serious mental disorders aged from late 30’s to late 60’s it appeared. They could count money and function somewhat but not without assistance. She displayed great love by allowing them the dignity to, with her help, order their own treats and helped them count out the money to hand over to me. There was no rush, each man,made his decision, took out his money from his pocket she helped him count it and then he handed to me. I was moved by her love and understanding. I took the money, made the proper change and hand the change and the ticket for the treat to each individual. As I did that I saw something in their eyes, the gratitude of being treated like an individual. A child of God who is deserves all the respect just like anyone else. She touched me so much that I thanked her for her care and love.
I bought her treat without even giving it a second thought, you see, I am blessed with a nephew who was born with down syndrome. He always smiles and is truly a child of God. I am guilty of not always understanding him, or giving him the time he deserves, I love him but do not always show him the love he deserves. This lady humbled me because she gives the time and love that these men deserved. I pray that in the future if Gus’s mom or any of his loving family are not around he will find a loving soul from God like this woman to help him.
Then today, we had a full house at 9:00 Mass, people trying to fit in, squeezing into the pews. If you looked around all you saw was a mass of bodies then it happened again, each person there was there to thank God for the blessings they have received or ask for help with a problem, or there to start a relationship with our Lord. As I looked around the Church and prayed before Mass I saw all kinds of emotions of the faces of these individuals. These people are not a mass of bodies, these people are Children of God who just like me are saints at times and sinners at times. And you know what, as I kneeled there and prayed the more I opened my heart and eyes to those around me and recognized it, the warmer my heart felt. God’s Love is here for all of us, we just need to look around and appreciate each other a little bit more. Each of us carries a cross, each of us wants to carry that cross and make our way to Heaven. Some will end their journey sooner than others but for each of us the goal is the same. Why did I not see that sooner, why did I not appreciate the gift God grants all of us if we take the time to forget about ourselves and look around to those around us and appreciate the gifts we all have and share the load we all carry with those who love us.
It was an Awakening and a good one, I hope it’s meaning will stay with me and keep my eyes and heart open. Are you awake?
God Bless and Good night!